07 May 2013

minnesota

I'm on the phone with shareowner services
through a bank
across the country somewhere, classical piano...
ahhh! those tickle keys
and a woman keeps interrupting the piano
to announce that my call is very important to them
and that a customerserviserepresentative will be with me
in the order I was received
& I think, my call should be answered in the order in which it was received, see
so I'm already incredulous
like how do I really know these guys are legit?
If you're worth billionz, get a grammarian on board

Awhile later she begins to give me addresses and phonenumbers,
and I'm clearly dealing with some depressed midwestern robot 
and I've never heard anyone say zero like this before
but that's how I guess they do in St. Paul.

I've been to St. Paul once, it was in February, and there was the ideal
Minnesotan snowstorm, so all of the roads were white thick,
and all of the thousands of lakes had fishinghuts & fires burning on them.
The blanket sidewalks had skiers on them. Such a place!
I drove a drunk guy home in his car 
and he told me that I didn't need to worry about stopping for red lights
that in this kind of weather, you go slow & peer & just keep going slow.
(with all of these billionz, you'd think I'd get a grammarian on board!)

St. Paul, Minnesota is also the only place I've played big buck hunter in my life. 


Someone answered! but...
it had to have been the same Minnesotan robot
Her winsome whiny decantering a
her overround lowered o

I think everyone should move away from where they were raised
she ought not to be in Minnesota
I ought not to be here
so sue me, I'm getting alllll that $$$
so let's gooooooooooooooooooooooo