closet muscle

I think of cyan in everything
I put it on all of my clothes
someone got fired today
it's sortof dullsky, I wonder if he got to the bar
to get shitfaced after being shitcanned
I have a birthday present for you
happy birthday! here is some of my smokehair
oh, you left a quarter in my bed, how tender
how tedious, I left a button beneath your pillow
  from my dusty vermilion silk shirt
  I wore cornflower blue tights
    peeled from my body
and can't wear my shirt anymore
  till I sew back the button
you should ignore me, I'm a firelight
  watch, I ignite
  gold ingots, look it up
impressss me
  get another pillow so we won't have to share
  put a shirt on it
let me sand allover your bed
  brush it off
   dog paws running against your wall
  scratch me off, cook me dinner in the waxing morninghours
   tell me to move in to your attic bedroom
     I can say whatever I want
       abt you
         bc you'll never read me
  suggest fingers to point at yrself consciousness
     tell me I don't appear to have any, make me laff
read abt how to woo a woman
by bringing a blanket out
  read about how to fuck
    or how to trade tender for passion
   or let's discuss
     that I love the talls, the uglies
       tell me that just bc I'm tan... thank you
          tell me I'm too goodlooking
for any of them
   tell me abt yr disease
     and yr panic
     and yr sad because-of-it-all
  and I'll tell you how we're ready for ever

crushed velvet sausage

'90s dads

mine wore black raybans

with lightblue croakies

the saggy kind

rayon aloha shirts

with wooden buttons

so you can leave your shirt open at sunset

when you're on a boat or on a dock

having a gin n tonic in the breeze, I guess

tassel-shoes

or as dad called them,

fishy little loafers

meant for working

spandex bikeshorts

& a hotpink tank top

with a babyblue bandana tied loosely around his neck

and those raybans with the blue croakie

this is what my '90s dad was wearing when he met my highschool boyfriend

who thought dad was gay

for the next few months at least, though he didn't tell me till later

we renamed dad

Steve the Stud

which developed into

Steve the Two-by-Four

because every friday night he'd get us a papa murphys pizza

and some blaxploitation films,

and he'd put on a nice cornflower button-down

and he'd ask me how he looked.

Sometimes I would tell him to change his shoes, or to get out of those black socks

and he'd leave us,
with castration-scenes and rape-by-poolstick

and we would get really stoned
& drink the case of natural ice the river man bought for us

late last night & this morning not early atall

Why not let the value system reflect it all

flirting in the fireplace. !

"check this out. check this idea out. A highfunctioning alcoholic, but an alcoholic. In the Abe Lincoln days. Black & gay. " said matty

"I wonder who the girl I had sex with in new york city was, " said kyle, "i have no idea, no idea"

"you honest to god would not go to war if I had to go to war," demands matty

"kyle, you didn;t give me an answer"

"i said nothing"

"if you got sent to war, I would go with you to make sure you were okay" says matty

"you wouldn't go to war if I had to"

"yeah I would"

"why"

"to make sure you didn't get shot. pretty obvious."

"kyle?" matty thinks it's time to go home.

he's wearing the lavender infinicat sweatshirt, hasn't taken it off for days. you should see it next to my exboyfriend olive synthetic cardigan, which I haven't removed since before all the breakups. but the colors. the blue-lavender, what is it, it's like cornflower or periwinkle or something; I found a list of colors on the internet, and hasn't it proven glorious to look at