someone take care of it

someone put exhaust in the smoke
or maybe a body's trying to say something
we are a fantasy crowd.
we breathe out noses.
months away (not so very far distances away!)
  and I keep thinking how when I was in new york
  I really wanted one of those gold script ID necklaces
  that all the cool brooklyn babes would wear
and I'm not talking abt the williamsburg babes
highwasted jeans
long hair, big shades
with stick arms
I'm talking about the applebottom babes
  but I wanted one with my old boyfriend's name
  and the guy at the shop informed me that
No, this necklace should be mine
no boys allowed
it's a good thing I didn't do it
else now I'd have a necklace
of Adan
  and we're friends, I'll always love that guy
but I couldn't exactly wear proudly his namesake now, could I?
  how many chains could I wear
if I had all of the $$
  for all of the names
     of everyone I've loved?
just pounds of goldplated shines
  hanging from my grub neck
I'd have to have all of the world's $$, again
  and that would be a weighty take
     on forever

what are the chances

that at any given moment someone somewhere is having the same thought as you?
is someone thinking abt driving in a red car through the middlewest with you
or maybe someone somewhere really wants a tunamelt, too

how likely is it that someone has invented you
and someone's laying around
imagining the two of you together
even though you'll never meet
and chances are
you aren't imagining them, at all
or, you don't feel the same way

one of my old boyfriends told me that
I wasn't his type
he told me that he didn't know who she was, this dream girl
that he had never met her
or anyone like her. he just new I wasn't she

when I was 18 I wrote on the cover of my diary
  everyone loves someone who loves someone else who loves someone else who loves someone else
I thought it was pretty poignant at the time
I was listening to a lot of modest mouse
and was dying my hair blonde and wearing white cargo pants

I don't really think abt that anymore
its just degrees
& timing
  aligned for two
and how often that happens, that two times converge
& then go along for awhile
it's probably as frequent as someone
  somewhere
envisioning a red car travel-companion
in shades with the windows down, hands on your knees
who'd love nothing as much
as sharing a tunamelt, too

I'mportant

I threw a mango in the bushes

I threw the ball for the dog a couple of times

do any of your sentences not have I in them? 

matty said that the other day when I was wearing those skates

I was talking about the cabin getting torn down

I was wearing those socal shades, they broke the next day I think?

I said fuck off, I think

I went around to the side of the house and sat down and started crying

I had friends pulling up from different cars, 

I stopped crying, but my shades were off

I told them about the cabin

for some reason, I apologized for crying

I got hugged

I laid next to matty later on the beach

he & I looked up at the sky

like we were on a dock

like we were 

and I were

I

I

I

I

I made three bucks today

man, I just came back from the world... don't go out there

I saw a girl I don't care about, I dropped one of the books I was carrying

she said HEY how's it going! and I said fine HOW ARE YOU

and then I picked up my book

and she said, that's a lot of books

and I was like, yeah

so I tried to sell some books and I only got $3, for a fucking Murakami. I don't know, I've never read Murakami 

I guess I can't talk shit, it's what the people want

I went to the bank and I got $100 out of my bank account

I saw a model, a tall tan with black on, and shades, and honey hair, and a cellphone

I had to go to the store to get beer

I got the ones with the fox on it

and the watermelons

because tonight I am going to write a six-pack story

& it might just be my ticket out of this two-bit town.

But while I was buying beer & only beer

I noticed my shirt

its big sleeves are cut off, and it's haphazardly bleached

on it reads MORE BEER in pink comic sans

& I'm thinking when I wear it I will always be thirsty

worst

a woman came into the coffeeshop yesterday,

with the depressed boring mid-forties guy

who part-combs his hair on the right, which is supposed to indicate something about his personality:

 we suspect he's a highly visual, musical, pictoral person, & feminine

and he has large wire-framed glasses,

and a nondescript buttondown shirt.

They always come in together

he pushes her wheelchair up to the counter, he stands behind her

she makes the difficult choice to order as she does always, an ice t,

maybe a stickybun.

He regards her impatiently, black coffee. They pay separately & sit at a table together & never speak.

I like to imagine that they are a couple

but that he didn't know what he was getting into,

she seemed so great at first. So uncomplicated

Or, or... they're both musical geniuses, but she was taking his spotlight

like in Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?

and he ran her over with his car

and has to take care of her for the rest of their miserable lives.

But, she's probably his sister

and she lives in the samaritan home

and he takes her for a fucking ice t every monday

She was wearing shades yesterday,

sortof big black moviestar shades

and she always has on these athleticlooking gloves 

so she doesn't get wheel-burn

& a thick black knee brace

on her thick doughknee

It was hard to make out her shirt,

smashed, as it was, beneath her breasts

and faded, she's had it awhile

but on it read

SARCASM (& in ornate script, the thesis) just one of my many talents

& I was like, o damn,

I guess they got me