urchn

turn it around, make me a 

winter king

look who's queen, now

sidewaysing each other

sideswaying, flutter your eyelashes now

hot puffer, flyabover

be a don't 

be a don't bother

be a don't, bother to

be a don't, bother to be

be a don't, bother to be there

I'm a sad

I'm a sad kid

I'm a sad kid don't

I'm a sad, kid don't try

urchin

 urgin

puuff 

 puufff 

  paassssssst

hoodie

 man, I keep leaving the screendoor open

and all of the fly guys keep coming in

and I yell and swish them around but they don't care

fly guys don't care

don't fucking care

FGDC

oh man, I just put on a hoodie

and it's like 80 degrees here on the patio of gayulz club

and I'm wearing a fucking sweatshirt, like who AM I?

I told Nickey her blog is fucking so good

in all caps

and she told me I was drunk

and the cool thing is that I got home from work

and there are watermelon beers in the fridge that I've nothing to do with

and I'm drinking them, but am not drunk

but I'm tryin

ok so it was Nickey

she literally just told me 

that I need to try

try

try 

try.

all I do is try

  

  Last summer around Nickey's birthday I wrote a poem in the blue book she made me for my birthday

  we were sitting by a pool

  I was drinking watermelon beer

  and I was melancholy

  because I felt very like I was in love with someone

  who I knew wouldn't ever be there back with me

  So I wrote down something like

   

    Don't cry

      Let her die

     if the ship has sailed

         say

           Bye Bye

and I didn't realize it rhymed, which instantly makes it a poem,?

& it was later abrevved, tried to become my motto

try, die, bye bye

which is not something I ever had to commit to memory

bc my memory has long forever made me a committer to it

bash

I am mad because it isn't about me

the turns you take, aren ot to find me

and out of All of the whips to take, yours is the kind I like most

and 

and 

and I won t pretend, anything

and sometimes I say, I won t pretend anything

and sometimes, sometimes, I don t 

but, also! also! I won t promise

because promises, promises, promises! something I got to know earlier! hello, promise, hello my little sweet, like the icecream you want me to, oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh 

just take yer top off!

sorry, sorry, I got another call. hold on...

okay, hey sorrrry! o god, are youstill there? bushes

hmmm bushes,
o god irrelevant

but see, sometimes I stay at Gayle's, and I always throw the scraps of vegetables into her bushes

and this is my mother, of course

Gayle. & how I'd destroy her.

It isn't late enough, I've realized. so, apologies! once, I made someone fall in love with me through apologies! & through the promises, promises that we wouldn t. watch how we died back then? 

goodnight, & good for us. I won t try to promise,
I promise to not pretend anything
and I promise to promise to always fall in love with you when I will. & I don t mean iff