MARTY MEMBLEM

to be taught
righteous, riotous,
your hand in my sand
my billowing, running sand.
she and her sad of course
to be taut

  your running off on me
your running off onto me.
your run off onto
  you're running, about to.
I have a point
to point to the purposeful.
you're a rock, you're a cane
you're a beet
red pulse-baby, my made hands.
how do you destroy months
how do you tangiblize months
how do you blend
them, yours, mine
how do you make a new calendar from them,
how do you tick days
click lick lick lick swish,
 flourish


I'm smoking herbs and pot rolled up into a joint, I'm in my room
on hickory st in new orleans, there is a candle, a scene.
globebook,
thermos,
gravitas.
mardi m emblem
beautiful lighting
peach curtains in the breeze
songs to get high to
songs to cry or wail to
to drive to
my table.
so another words,
succulent, rememberful
  = sentimental
riesling with berries, bugs
collie in frog position
dangling from the fan
coon tail, lavender crocheted jellyfish (nickey)
pink & brown cabin rugs

waits

if for nothing but the
yours and yours
  truly

<<<<<<<<<<<--------->!@3

wussy

I left the party after I flushed that goodfood down my throats
I couldn't find my keys, they were obscured by the watermelon half on the countertop
it was getting dark, they were shooting off the works
the hills probably caught fire somewhere

when I was a kid we'd go to my grandparents' house for the 4th of july
my dad and his friends would get all of the illegal fireworks from ontario
ontario: no law
and we'd sit on blankets
while they got drunk
and lit up the hillside
the trucks would come
and spray the sage and the grasses
and shake their heads at my dad & his friends
whose heads would hang in semi-shame
but we'd all been having a good time, so
it was always alright with everyone

I left the party to go find kyle & matty
I drove up 8th street all the way until the road was a parkinglot
some dj booth was playing rave jams
and my friends were calling out Molly? Molly? Where's Molly
and everyone said, Yo, you looking for Molly?
kyle threw up along the hillside, fell down
matty & I were laughing at him
and matty fell down on him & I think they were wrestling
then they went home with some girls.
I shouldn't have been driving
I reversed too hard & slammed the car into the hillside
on kyle's vomit
and I drove with an eye on the winding road
because I'd been promised a date
with condoms & beer
so I had to get there

I came home but my date never showed
and I read things I shouldn't read, and I laid down in front of kari's club
and I was crying, and yelling quietly about it
voicemails
I told my date not to do that anymore
and he said, I really like you
Do you still like me?

we had breakfast
we talked about opening up
about closing up
about things ending for us, individually
but we're just a Date
so we never have to worry about
Us
at all

I'm no wussy
I'm willing to tear it down
as long as it's straight at me
and honest
why should I be crying about some girl
letting some girl tear me down?

I'm alright. I've got a sunburn, finally
and I have someone to kiss on a beach
a good listener, a slow responder
but a responder, nonetheless.
so I'm doing fine
I'm doing a lot better
than some, out there
because I am fucking righteous
and I'm brave
and I'm beautiful
& young
& dope & proud
and that's not just my '90s american flag tank & neon bikini talking
the freeflowing justicefull flag of my stoic disposition
and my unforgiving neurosis
flying me futurforward
and foreverwards
till death do me apart

virtue

I moved inside and logged

  that fire

write in the light of it

with wet woolens dangling

there isn't a dictionary

  no one thinks to bring one

     it rains on the internet

   but I still find out that nemesis is the word of the day

                     

              but we have a different word of today

  

manliness,

      excellence, 

           godliness,

                potency

Virility & Virtue

    an advertisement urges me to click on a link: why men fall in love

  and its subheading: remind him why he loves you

  I am not a virtue

but a virtuous woman might

  just

remind a man

    why he loves her               

          

  like I am virtually her

  like I am virtually here

         I am essentially, practically there

  like I am essential, practical.

         a word on mouths for 600 years

  being as a fact but not as a truth

the fire is virtually dying

the fire is dying with virtue

nothing in the translation 

  of an old dead tongue

       can truth it real

& our descriptive grammar

    is proven absolute again

(so I know: another log for the fire, another wine for opening, feed them)

  

    I ate potato pancakes from the pancake & christmas house

  they were virtually crawling with onions

    why isn't that so true enough

      that I commit to it always?

and so drink & glorify in the 

older-than-that 

  words

the I-came-before-you words  

from a landscape slammed

  before latin was the only real shit

  Let yourself in then, your valor

        your worth  

  let this ancient adjective upstand

  let it be goodness

  let it rein america in

  let us men be strong

  let us be members

  let righteous members abound

But where's your tuff?

  where's your I'll-show-you-molly

  where's those gods-in-your-veins

  where's your justice?

  where's that wishful name

  placed pressureful on your slumped shoulders?

can't live tuff
  hide-in-a-name jelly skeleton

a nemesis has 

  Just indignation

      Righteous anger

         & thrashes & divines wrath up allover everything

  the virtuous

& the goddess of vengeance? at a Party sometime

   taking some beerbongs

     bodyshots

  Virility's glistening biceps in his threadbare tank

Nemesis' dampened tramp stamp

  and sunkissed bejeweled stomach

    glistening in the fluorescent basement lights

the Good & Strong & Excellent & Essential

   versus

the Defender of Justice

  who can shotgun the most beers

  who can kill that keg

  who can take down the party.

Who is splayed on the patio

   at the outcome of a chicken fight

 which one asks for more

   & which begs to be left off

  

  

a brain is simple and tough

1 November 

Finally, isn't it better. Wondering about the chain, the delicate filigree of onehundred years ago. It is true that the brain dies, but you see, giving sustenance till the end is righteous. It will matter.

The incest of a body alone. Empty of others, the hands of legs or the wrapping in a bed together. The door from here is too far; the brain is actually dead. Just still moistly warm. I could drift away right then & there! The flickering four candles emitting their faux vanillas. My own true lavender to light me.

The lights on one, the closed windows, another. The better friend vegetarians. My cells growing, the thick of arms and shoulders. I am awake alive and it tastes hungry in me.

melodrama, else letting old dogs roam arbitrarily, memories abundant

am

astronomical mournings

assumptive measures

asinine melodies

arbitrary maybes

arbor manor

amazement mud

tomorrow:

turbulent omniscient meditative orations raised righteous or woebegone.

omniscient:

overly monotonous, nevertheless it seems coalescent in every narrow triumph

monotonous:

Melancholy overtones, neurotic omissions; tufted omnivores nesting on underturned stems.

overtones:

omnipresent, verified, each remaining twilight obituaried; nevermind endless sobs.

verified:

Virginal eternity rides in flesh igloos, ebbing dignified.

eternity:

emitting terra entwined roads, notes in tiny yarns

terra:

torrential elevations reap rolling alps.

elevations:

echos landing eastward, vague armor tells it over northern seas

landing

lamentations, aridity not dwelled inside; nettlesome grievances.