oh well

what would a miss be, a true one
aligning alternately, who can you hear?
I've the salmon wall
I've the meat separating me
I'm the I'm sorry
I'm the original I'm Sorry
I just want my blankets back
I don't want you to have anything of mine
I want to bury you
I want to be the most unforgivable, the meanest
I want to tell you how I never believed it
and that could have stayed innocent, but now I'm free and now
it digs
because sometimes I think I'm better than the world
and I'm standing on air
it's nicest to be alone in winter
it really does something to us
I think you're wrong and I hate a lot about that
so abandon baby
break the space in two
winner
make me too easy

things we think of alone

in the stars & bars, the neon bikini
wet from river,
it sucked me in
this is how drunks drown
the water black linesnaking across
I wouldn't have fallen in there in daytime, too dangerous
wet home, always the sprinklers on the greenbelt between 3 & 4 am
things we think about alone
the dry eyes, the good goodbyes
the dreams I have about masturbating
always a mother or stepmother figure to embarrass myself in front of
the geminates: double rs, double ss
the ending of sentences with prepositions
I'll let you sleep all day, I'll tiptoe about you
find you coffee
watch your skin on the butter sheets, your shorts of a dusty salmon pink shirt
long pretties
I get jealous when I overhear things sometimes
but alone on a bike in the dark, feeling cold, wet, driving fast to beat it
coming alone in the heat, it's nice like winterblanket
it makes a sigh smile across me.
thinking of your leaving, of my staying put
I'm putting out even in sleep.
get in me
you did, once, many
I'm alright with that now
so I think it
so I build it true.
now

bros

boys letting girls drive them around in their cars
boys sitting on the beach with girls reading the thoughts of important french thinkers
boys kissing wet girls on the beach
boys wanting to be sober with girls
boys going to their parents' place for salmon
boys drinking and driving
boys making their cocktails with raspberries & mint leaves
boys referring to their cocktails as their cocks
boys letting their moms move in
boys with their phones in their pockets
boys anticipating a latenight call
boys inviting girls over
boys listening for the sidewalks to ring out with skateboard wheels
boys drunk driving
boys sitting with anxious girls in their arms on a bed
boys holding girls as they cry on their faces
boys telling girls all of the things
boys sitting on the stoop with girls
boys crying with girls, talking about being broken hearted
boys getting naked
boys saying, I want to fuck everyday
boys wanting to tell someone they love her everyday
boys falling asleep to the party
boys waking up kindly, with fondness
boys wondering if it will end soon enough

butterbody

I'm sitting in my opaljade colored subaru legacy outback
smoking a cigarette
it's pouring rain out
cheesecake on the countertop,
nobake
I'm a dying thirst
I drove to the gasstation & couldn't barely tell
the man abt the smokes I wanted
I sat in the car,
smoking
I read aloud
I did that thing where I tell myself not to move my lips when I read
I said this loudly
& I moved my lips so fully
I have such a humor
my dad took me out to this bougie restaurant
: An Italian Joint
  and I told them about my weekend
                            about what I'm sortof trying for
& the gross waitress hovered
taking away plates & utensils
in the corporate fashion
I reaaallly don't care about this place
but I ate  puffy smoked salmon stuffed
I mean, why lie? it was fucking delicious
but you won't be seeing me there again
   unless I'm dead
  like if someone really felt the urge to bother
with a corpse or a murder
for an overpriced fuck-me-I'm-pastad party
oooh happy birthday! the waitress fake-squealed
and she asked if I wanted some birthday girl dessert
  and come on, you think this fyne 33 yr old bod keeps its way through dessert? get real
I do thank you, & sincerely.
  they gave me a beautiful backpack
      so I'm trying not to be so awfully mean

sleep apnea

a woman came into the coffeeshop, she walked to the pastry case and looked and said,
Oh I'd better not
she ordered a latte
and tried to pay with a quarter
so I said, polite and sort of loud,
three eighteen.
she did a snort chuckle, the giant salmon gem dangling from her hangthroat jerking,
fishing a ten from her wallet
Don't tell my doctors... under her breath
she has sleep apnea
 (oh noo)  whispers OL from behind me.
Do you know what that is? It's when you just can't sleep.
I watched Judge Judy from 3:30 am until 4:30 am
and guess how many times I fell asleep and woke up again?
we were bewildered, we had no idea
Ten,
she cried
we yawned in disbelief
she said, Guess how often, so that's three divided by ten... and I wake up like this-
she does a snore like a seal on its back
It's so bad for your heart, she scolds

I went and made her latte

I never should have told you girls that, she said
as she left

modern underparted

And the sweet ones, all having names. I like the looks about, through a slotted glass a peach or salmon through the pines, the last of the fleshy sponge day. A true summer one. My own little sweet fleshy peach one with the dewy down sits in sitz, I'm with the water rush through pipe in ears, adjacently by rooms. The too many pungent flowers behind, still awaft though twilight somehow nonexists tonight. I like this luscious spring, the hot of sun fingers still presst against the uppers of arms and backs. All brown and ripe like insides of fruit themse.ves