last call girl

I'm the end-of-night girl
I'm your last chance
the bar is lit
the teens are falling down the hill towards their cars
I'm closing this place down.
can you talk to me
can you walk me home
can you get my number,
can you call me tomorrow
can you kiss me
can you
  hey, free country
pretend
I'm not your last-resort
I'm not an act of desperation
that you're listening
when I tell you
  I'm in med school
  I'm 35
  I'm moving to hawaii in 4 days
  I'm gay
&tc.

who do i think i am

I did enough last night to justify

my never leaving the house

  oh... you're moving to new orleans?

  but I was planning

to go there, to never have to see you again

  and we could have gone together

  and you didn't have to give up on me

  and you could have given me a chance!

  because you're the one!

I'm the one,

  right

we were yelling in front of the bar,

  and we were crying

  bc I hear you so well

but I don't think you can with your dead ears.

do I get credited for the ruins of someone else's heart, now?

do I get to be the guy 

do I get to be the beloved, for a change?

  ha

I left & walked, and did some unsavory

  business in front of my old highschool. I was laughing, now

    and I rode my bike home

      and I did more bad things

        some regretables

          but I haven't any apologies

    I just keep

 trying

for some reason

 to not be

   the one, anymore