bros

boys sobering up
boys being jealous of other boys' ability to sober up
boys getting stoned in the car, listening to pop music
boys inviting girls they sort of like to the bar
boys sharing a chair with girls at the bar
boys looking like part of a couple
boys seeing their exgirlfriends at the bar & avoiding eyecontact
boys seeing other boys' exgirlfriends at the bar & trying to avoid talking to them
boys not using condoms ever, woops
boys drinking out of the jars they brought from home
boys going home to try to fuck the girls they sort of like
boys getting naked for girls
boys being annoyed at girls when they change their minds
boys insisting on having an orgasm
boys sitting up in bed at 4:34 am, crying
boys saying, I think I'm going to go
boys saying, I don't care about this
boys sobbing while girls comfort them
boys sobbing that they need to get their shit together
boys saying, I need a smoke
boys weeping and smoking with girls on the porch while they smoke
boys saying, I want to meet someone who is as passionfilled as I
boys apologizing for being so crazy
boys making girls come, surprised
boys saying Thank you for being so kind to me
boys sleeping in
boys late for work
boys with bad news
boys really needing other boys
boys finding how their own problems are nothing compared to those of other boys
boys acting like everything will be all right
  because it will be, for them
     eventually

farawayapology

me, able me
me avoiding you me
I
ornate headdress
of emblazoned silver coins welded,
like the ones hanging in the carpeted booth of iraqi battle garb that one time I'm london smoking hash, gettong hiton
exemplar of exoticism
obscuring faces
I said, are you sad that I'm leaving
and you said yes, but this isn't written to you
I am writing, no I am thinking of you
I want to drive down the hill to the gasstation by the sandcliffs to talk to you there, I am sad that you're not
like he is, when I won't be
& I want you
to want to know everything. onlyuidred butdw fixszzcnallyzz like that.
I was drunk, not crying
but I was crying when you said you'd be sad. you're thinking of your parents, losing their minds
walking to the store for some scotch
getting lost on the way.
take the car away, sorry.
I learned last night
that the year my grandfather died
he was driving down bogus basin road
with his brother in law riding in the scrub seat
and the red jeep ended
upside down in a ditch
john would have been confused
and bruce would have been bitching
Goddammit! Watch my goddamn legs, you're hurting me! griping all the way to rescue
I'm griping towards rescue, I think
I'm guilty that I'm not here anymore, for you
I am a sorrygirl
but I am displayed allover
displaced thing
timing it to find
my parts in ditches, in ancient across-the-world rugs
behind weighty masks
an old kid
in a beatup wreck

squish

abdicate!

our minds have slippery sources, make slippery the secretions

they're hard to hold onto

I just gipped mine with dagger paws, tamping, tramping a bit

the jumpy little guy. Where you trying to?

I have a smile now, it's a lone one for me myself only. They listen to my words, they are my friends. They nod, I guess, but maybe they're stoned, maybe they've never been here before. I feel like my relations aren't hard to not. Can't you? Always begging the other to understand. Even if you don't agree... please please please understand me. I don't want to be a different language, a tongue tie. I amn't exotic enough to be the other. You're not exotic at all, but still you cling breathing your veil to be protected forever from things like me. I am. Wishful wait giveup girl.