help me find my necklace

little hero,

I too want dog-running dreams

four paws bending

dainty twitch at the wrist

sidewinder against the wall

catching triscuits over a mountain jumping a grave

I bought bananas as revenge

I wake up with my mind over the range

burners low

or mountains separating forever. That's the biggest distance I've ever seen

further than space

is

stay in space

space is pretty pleasy

I'm sorry about my body

It's falling apart inside

strings to pull out of me,

whole parts, globs, gushes

pretty pleasy things going out from me now

it's a mess

and it's a broke trust

nothing going in

nothing going on

no saving, doubling

exponentialling

I'm sorry 

but I can't get high as the sun

as stoned as the stars

wasted as states away

fucked-up as a time zone

blood is in me

like new blood everyday

new little blood wishes when I wake up

old little blood wishes

just wish question wish question wish question wish

like where's the wants to see you again

what's ours is ours

what's mine is mine

I used to like the inside of your head

but where has it gone?

is it okay if I change some things for you

is it okay if I change my smell, to us?

subtle to change my life with you

is it okay if I do some coke, would that bother you

is it okay if I say I love you

is it okay if I show you my brain

is it okay if I change my mind?

I'm sorry about the bananas,

that was impulsive & now they're ripe so I don't know what to do with them.

I wrap around this fur body in springmorning

very close to the dirt, face in

the roots

the gentleroots

gentleman earth

I am a bloodbath

an old babe,

with bloodcurtain as cape

my mouth a twist, a smile, a hellow-honey

my shana punim

my hot-air balloon

my beautiful dreamer!

 watching you sleep is a shame & watching you wake is a slaughter

Queen of Sacramento, Lady of Nebraska

the palm trees, the claustrophobic planes

the spelling of plains correctly

I keep the ideas of me you have

they suck into me & become me even more me

more I than I thought

I am

whatever you say I am

if I wasn't

then why would I say I am

eminem, the great fucking plains?

at least a valley you can get out of

mountains you can climb up

rivers you can get under

but we can have the plains

the regulars

the simple

the nothing-fancy-abt-that

the unchanging landscape

a field, a tree, here & there a copse

and you,

a livable corpse, a loveable corps

lovable corpse, covesick 

covestuck coeur. Get in yer crevice, baby.

Climb in the corn, crawl on the fours

spin round, divot it

dig out a little place, make a valley from your rich plentiful midwestern soil

bury your body there, make mountains around you

a seething grave

for the unchanging 

make less your monotonous burial scene

It's we from the branches, inevitably

prettylittle 88 - 91

It’s we from the branches growing forth! I can go, I've resolved. You’re the best thing, you get me inspired to sleep. I really have nothing more to plot.

I love you so I work pleasant. I’m too happy to have anything to say. Climax I don’t want to live without, and we’re close for our bodies tend to be right now. Events denude you… But eye-contact and you still are really more pure & naturally. I took to deprive of time, with the afraid, remorseful, amazing something... We’re different now, and I know we’re speaking intensely, physically. I get to stare at myself, to strip at certain points things of which I’m sure; illness & depression uninspired in the mirror, all surface layers needed desperately. Nothingness after.

Avoidant the whole time, bare by erosion, with you and death and in need of pruning too, which is always fun. To strip you fully, showering, I can’t wait to look.

Land of forest, a deep breath and it relates. Keeping a mirror at my bones. As we pass by her eyes for a moment, I quote a pet, old and grimed: poking through every denuded woods, I can’t justify what I’ve done… I’m unafraid. Long since mossed over. I’m starving, you know. Depurative. I know well that I have a new grave and so it goes.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------- epilogue

O, how much I bathe! Caring, younger & younger. I'm killing the point, purifying me; I try not to be. Solemnly. I’m a purgative love, jealous but celebratory. In renunciation, inevitably. All the hope for me.