I came home from work and I looked at the backyard of gayulz club
and I was like
FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK this place
it's so dirty & gross here, god
and I looked at the bed I'd made & slept in, on the cement
and it is covered in little gnat corpses and little pollen flecks and sticky matter
and I was even more disgusted
but here I am, sitting
I cleaned up cigarette butts
beerbottles
beercans
a can of diet coke? whose
an empty pizza box
and I said, You know what, Molly?
and I said, WHAT, Molly??!
You deserve some WHISKEY, gurl
and I was all, YA I DO
so I got on my bike & rode my ass down to the liquor store. It's really hot out.
The temperature clock says almost 100
The internet says it's 92 degrees.
Remember that boy band
Nickey saw a pic of them these days
what, it's like 20 years later or something
and she said, Gross! they are so gross and OLD now
and I'm like Ya, why would they let a good thing die
which reminds me: remember when Jessica Simpson ballooned to like 150 lbs
and everyone freaked
bc it's Jessica FuckingSimpson
and she's hot, so how did she get so FAT
omg, did Nick Lachey leave her, you think
I don't even know
I need to look at more mag covers at the stores
I came home and I thought to make myself a cocktail
where's my cocktail?
I thought I really need a cold cocktail, I'll use the martini shaker
put in some ice, some ginger syrup, a little lemon juice, some sparkle water
and then I noticed it!
a single watermelon beer
and I was like
Why would I ever maudlin-exclaim that life sucks?! No way
it's even better than whiskey right now
in 98∘
Nick & Jessica, forever
fat or thin
gay or straight
geniuses,
I hope they made itin all this heat
