millions of pillows, windows open
we have had an excellent try, molly
we went to a movie
it was made by those who brought us the twilight saga
bc all I wanted was some icecream
to solve my 29yrold headache
I brought the leopard lisa frank blanket
and I wore it to my legs
and snugged with my milkshake.
I sat with nickey, and britta, and that tall one with the sparse face hair
and the long feet in long shoes
that's my favorite thing on him
besides the 13 inches he stands over me
but he doesn't know me very well
he had changed into a handsome date sweater
but I'm guessing he rarely wears it
rarely dates in it
we didn't hold hands, or touch or anything
in the car we leaned toward one another
with a seat between us.
he knows enough, maybe
like that I won't ask
I won't try
who knows, can you hang?
I had a crush on him because of 7th grade orchestra
he played stand-up bass
and I was usually last-cello
so I'd get to sit by him.
he never talked to me or looked at me.
he was a skater boi
he'd dyed his hair black and he'd headbang while he played.
he doesn't remember the jr high me
so is it cool or not
that he wants to hang 17 yrs later? with old-new-me
I guess
I live in boise, so
on our first date we went to the gasstation
there were 5 dudes, all posing toward various audiences
one bro was absently chewing a box of nerds he was about to purchase
and I was able to look around at each of them
bc none would make eyecontact with anyone
he bought me one of those giant glitter-fleece roses
and he held up the line while he filled out the card
he spelled our names phonetically
which I found pretty endearing
even though the flower is hideous
and it makes this gross crumply sound when you spread open its petals
I guess when you want to be a good date you do things like that
I had a dream I was going to nebraska
and someone said, I heard you got a bus ticket back
are you really sending me a mixtape?
is it going to be a lamentable one? are you an across-the-country date?
is that something to look for
when I came home, I asked my new landlady
how she felt abt overnight dates
she really doesn't like the idea
no smoking pot
no sleepovers
is this the kind of adult I'm expected to be?
fun
I guess at 29 I'll become like you, then
paranoid
anxious
and lonely
with no one to share
my millions of blankets with
