kids keep naming their kids Gracie, or Gracey, or Gracee, and I wonder, so are these kids naming their kids Grace & making it easier on them
to deal with such a supreme sort of name
by childishing it & making it easier on the come-out?
Because the ee-affixes
are sweeter sounding on the tongue.
Because I'm thinking, in my mind (it's where I think)
as this kid's giving birth in the hospital
or in her bathtub
is she moaning out about how graceful it all is
how this parasite's been inside living off of her for most of the gregorian year
a creature pushing out uncontrollably
about ready to kill her, & finally
that it's filled with blood & skin & miniorgans
and all so grace-filled?
with its little closed-eye expression
& toothless scream-out,
that she, that it be the grace of god?
Gross.
There was a girl in jr high with me named Grace
(& we called her Gross, pretty mean)
and she had posters of nsync on every inch of her room
so you had no idea where the walls were.
I never was inside her room
or in her house
but we were neighbors so when she had her lights on at night
I couldn't believe it.
I mean, nsync is good
but really?
Maybe Gracie in her little stupid babybrain
knows totally that she's just got to get out of there
she's gestated
she's turning
she's got limbs, & little healthful graceful organs
& a little angelic face, so they say when she comes out & they rub her down in soft towels
& stick the baster in her nose
& blow out her kid mom's fluids
so she can stop breathing what she has been
& come out & do it like a human being.
Maybe Gracie in her little, insignificant mind
with her eyes already open,
& seeing better than I can
or you can
looking about, speechless, graceless,
is thinking
hey
I got out of there
& it was a prison
& I am a free man
& I will tattoo the world with my fullness
& I am eager to devour it
with the windows open
with the blinds shattered,
that Curtain City is closed until death
which is way, way too graceful & far away
