Monday, February 9, 2004
Oh man I want to kill myself for so many reasons. None of them are good. I got into video! And the class has 3 British people and Caleb and, yes, Jason! Here to make videos on his great thinking. And what else... oh, you know just thoughts about stay the fuck away from anything that might drive any sort of memory of jason and then there's Neight and let go of it all molly! and then but you don't really have to, just do what you do and enjoy, No! Use and abuse and hold onto the pain, allow it to soak into the marrow of your bones and never [forcing, forging, forgetting]! It's fine that there's no one in the world with whom to be. I'm glad you've made that realization. The love of your life will love you too and there you go but it isn't yours and you can't touch it and allowing to be taken over by that MAY AS WELL allow you to end up in SUICIDE.
3 goals: finish manifesto, email, card for Alex
DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE
Monday 2/9/98
Well. Today- I was pissed all day. I mostly avoided Kari, I had nothing to say to such a dumbass. Bryttni & Sabina tried to fight @ lunch, but nobody would hit first. Silly girls. I gave Charlie's beanie back to his mom (memories). Fine then. I didn't want it anyway. She's so sweet. She really is. So how did she come up with Charlie? GOD only knows. I did, however, talk to him for a half hour today. I gave up and tried calling him at 4:28 pm but he was busy. I waited until 4:31 to call, but the phone rang and it was him. He was trying to call me at 4:28. Wow I think we might have bonded. He's probably not grounded this weekend. Valentine's Day?
{The songs I was listening to thoughout the writing of this thoughtprovoking entry were as follows: "Down" and "All Mixed Up" by 311; the first I rated four stars, the latter three; and REM's "Losing My Religion" which I deemed worthy of only one.}
Monday 1/8/01, 7:08 pm
I just talked to little Greggy Gayporn on the telephone. We talked about The Most Wonderful Night of Our Lives. He said I ruined his life, I said I have no regrets. I don't. He's so sexy and adorable! He really is! If I weren't involved... just wait until he's a sophomore. I gave him the warning. Do you think he thinks I'm disgusting and he hated that night? I hope not. I'd hate that. Oh well, Scottie's calling me back and he'll tell me all about it. He should want me again, since I'm goth. Bryttni's dumb. Her best friend forever Trevor can suck my cock. They can live happily forever for all I care. I have to work later. With Jennifer. Hey, only 8 more days at Crapital! Hallelujah. Praise Jesus. I luv DJ Akira. {Here I've inserted a "techno spot" which is a squiggly dot with an arrow pointing to it.} That's me.
Wednesday 2/9/00, 7:20 pm
Hi. I am watching 90210, the greatest show ever made. Last night I talked to Sam. It was just like old times. He was Sam and I loved it! His last wrestling match is today. That means I never get to see Sam in spandex. There go all my dreams! Still haven't spoken to Bryttni. I took a picture of Josh today. He's hot. Mmm mmm mmmmmm. There's also a rave Saturday, complete with Ecstasy. Should I go? I don't want to stay at Caitlin's but I'd have to. Maybe it would be worth it. I just can't believe that nothing incredible happened today! FUCK! I wish Sam was home so I could call his ass.
Tuesday 2/9/99, 7:04 pm
Today was average. Bowling was boring because Joe, Bruce, & Myles weren't there. But New Navy {our bowling team} had good names such as:
TJ: Mariah Carey, Mr. Jonathan, Total Jerk, Tom Arnold, Luke Perry
MOLL: Left Eye, Nomi Malone, 11111 Poop, Molly Mic Fateron, Tori Spelling
STACIE: Toni Braxton, Brittni Spears, Steak Sale, Shamu, Fattness, Faye
Stuff like that. Really cool stuff. So it was okay. Skool was boring. I luv school. Not.
I'm kind of almost sorry that I don't feel like blogging about blogworthy stuff here in this blog, like contemporary stuff. But I'm not that sorry, because this shit is fabulous and unparalleled.
