confidence mustard

christmas 2013

I did the same thing they do, how many years, teens in the street, thin merino wool caps and northface jackets, shiny pillow coats filled with weightless goosefur. gray earlynight light, bald trees and trees few in leaves, silhouetted always, for daily we're twilighting. the dog moans, the house is empty save for us. all of the windows seem uncurtained, meaning there are curtains but they're heavy, and folded or shoved away, impossible curtains. I'm leaving Idaho in the morning.

lately

elements of a day

downpour, palms asway, explosion on the wires. your grip on me.
laying in bed with the clouds
balcony
nevereat
benevolence
the perfect soup
mirepoix
driving in the rain
personal hell, snores in stereo, clock tick tocking, tick tick tocking, tick, tock
little roach
bigface, pockmarked
folding your sportcoat over the spine of the sofa
new cold wind
new baby asthma
fighting the funk
fortunate,
luck

stereotype, a song (explicit)

  I'm hysterical

  watch me spin

 whirlwind

wash the place,

wash the world

my innards trying

 as women are wont to do

with the ra shon a ble
world

my wet stuff enticing like

as far as your
 deal   can squish
measure me in that way
ruler me

sorry, to be rude

 sorry, but I'm crying? right

look at me go

swish around

 I'm a heart 

  in a shape

cut off the arteries, the connectors
cookie cutter me

 obliterate
  into dough
masticate me mush

I'm sorry, I became

I behave

 in    that  way

so

the only genius in the room is   y  o    u

 disimportant  me

wash me
 down the drains of history

histrionic       girl

pull me out

push me

 push my breasts from my body

thumb my nipples from them

scrape it off, 

grate me

 cut me out

slice me, sliver it, silver it

wealth my slit

suck my gold voice

savor it

 drink my words,   betray them

take it upon yourself to translate me

 who could write it better than you.

 name me

compliment,

stand up for it

defend.

   my dear darling,

  I'm for a girl

 all of my ins

  and the bones of me, & marrow
 and my heart

but boy
     as I hang a shameful head,
you've the heart of my brain

  and the brain of my veins

decembme

with a whimper. I put down the meusli, I put down the grapefruit I halved (done right) because it tastes bad to me, or it's from texas, or, or, the beans in my stomach making puff puff at me. I think all the herbs from all of the world come into me through the nostrils down the throat. I lost my appetite because you thought I might drive round the crescent to fetch you at 8:30 drop my hat, take you to work, did you stay up too late? oh no, did I should rescue you? I am not that me, anymore. it's december, let's get up. this is pretty real, in me. growing back your bones, we see with it in them now.