diarrhea, entrails, repeat ∞

   we look almost nothing alike
pushing gently at the soft 30
  babe in the rain
I have been a smoke cloud
I have been a sadsack
my smoke face
my smoke stacks
I've been   I've been stuck under the street, gooey
  gummy, gutterblast
a little petrified thing.
I feel a little snaky in my old-skin
but I'm flowing. I mean, this shit's a gust, we're august
  up in here
   thickoil
go down
  my drains. I draw it up, little guzzle guzzle
my body's a goodmeat, my heart
is a harness
  a wetwish
  a no-way bore
and my brains are wrinkles
and I've that good
  innards rope
     double noose, holding them, side by side

  noose me to your pocket
            the one you dropped
  we're on this high plane, now
out of the rot
     plains

I got no grief machines
  driving my bod
  its inward mechanisms, abuzz buzz buzz

Merrill means shining sea in Welsh

we learned a few french words
  we felt awfully proud
     we pooped our bits out
        we stormed the crowd with party
            we danced away
        with our cranks & cogs
      and our ropes are strong, metal
     and the slivers they make are silver shines
   like some
iridescent sea

chub

last year bruce & I went to home depot

and we bought a little cactus

the kind with the beautiful red bulb for a hat

and the gentle spikes down its shaft

He named it Molly

When I left the house for good

he took care of all the succulents for me,

feeding them calcium supplements

turning them toward the sun

making sure their puffy leaves were full with juice.

But I came one day

to find Molly

half dried, petrified

rock-like

her swollen red top

shriveled & black.

Oh, I don't know what happened to Molly,

he said, eyes downcast

And then I took them away.

It was cruel but I took all those sucs away from him & brought them to my new house.

Then I took some back to him

because he could have just killed her,

smashed the pot

decapitated it

burned it alive

he didn't

he just stopped thinking about it

or he just disregarded it

or he liked watching it shrivel, waste away

but it didn't die so maybe there're tender gestures still

Now she's grown three tiny cactus arms, 

and she's reaching to sunlight

and she's chubbing up again with water light health summer

but she's still fucking ugly

real fast

don't distrust me! a long time ago was a long enough time. go & get your cocktail; these blossoms are petrified & forever, but never everlasting.