slowjambs 1 (5/12/13)

your touch is so wonderful
your touch is so marvelous
the joy that I feel when I'm with you
it feeeeeels so good
I'm so glad yer mine
know that I love youuuuu
make it last forever
ya ya
give me kisses
oooh love me
hold me
squeal me
chimney
you know I do
oh oh ohhhh ohoh
mmmmm mnnnnn
you know
know that I loooooooooooove you
hoooo
prettertnnnener
oh io
never never never
make it last forever
I want our love to last a lifetime
I lovey lovey lovey love you
got to make it
ohh honeyy
I I  i I I i I i

I made three bucks today

man, I just came back from the world... don't go out there

I saw a girl I don't care about, I dropped one of the books I was carrying

she said HEY how's it going! and I said fine HOW ARE YOU

and then I picked up my book

and she said, that's a lot of books

and I was like, yeah

so I tried to sell some books and I only got $3, for a fucking Murakami. I don't know, I've never read Murakami 

I guess I can't talk shit, it's what the people want

I went to the bank and I got $100 out of my bank account

I saw a model, a tall tan with black on, and shades, and honey hair, and a cellphone

I had to go to the store to get beer

I got the ones with the fox on it

and the watermelons

because tonight I am going to write a six-pack story

& it might just be my ticket out of this two-bit town.

But while I was buying beer & only beer

I noticed my shirt

its big sleeves are cut off, and it's haphazardly bleached

on it reads MORE BEER in pink comic sans

& I'm thinking when I wear it I will always be thirsty

jerk

thought to be pretty funny yesterday, telling you what to do

but I slept   in

so I'm not as funny today, more regular-guy today

my hair looks pretty great

I am a shabby

they're going to see my hair for the first time

the repulsed old women

are gonna be like, 

Oh my word

is that a young woman?????

I think I'll have some orange juice when I get to work.

I think I'll lie about how great the chicken salad is.

but really the lie is not too much a lie because whatever

big-bra babe with her glitter jewel necklace & fresh honey hair

is gonna love it 

truly

it's called lying for favors

hey, can you do me a favor?

let me do you a favor.

advice a lie

smile a lie

present a lie with all its fun-lie mass

a happy lie

for your starving stomach.

yeah the planet distance is pretty great

so I'll just orbit for awhile

til it breaks

TOday

Luckily I got something new at christmastime, a new dress with dragonfly print & it hasn't come off since, can't. When you go to bed dressed you wake up so. Easily, with layered tights & socks kicked off beneath the soiled pink wool & soiled down & soiled 500-thread-counts. Never to sleep without someone in the proximity, but keeping a dog as a wall between he & me. Everymorning waking up before dawn, yawning wondering, whose fingers are these? whose knee haphazardly pushed in the crook? 

The colors of my hands, royal blue chips, the copper, puce, cadet blue. The cardigan accused of being 'mustard' when mustard just isn't olive. The forest green. I crocheted a shoelace; they thought I was out of it. The neon baby stuff I have around me, the notion that honey in my espresso is what's for me. I am learning to devour a little. An omelet here, a slice of green pepper/jalapeno there. The cans all aligned on my perfect big table. I want to write about the internet, because it is finally immanent. I think that could be somehow even boringer than this all.

I'm elevated

Thanks for all the notice. The honey of sonoran bees. The limes, the sparkling metal of a cup. My beringed fingers, the faces in memory. The old ones, the nonresponses. How can you have so many histories, so close together like that? Hiding out in the cool humidity, seeing the sun out there & fighting it, the money, the food, the apologies, the wanting to get it all over with & good. Avoidance of goodbyes, the patience in hellos. Your hair is short your hair is long. Your hair is aubergine, it is curls. It is thick & your head is large, it isn't changed, but you with guns, now. The new me, the new her, and the shes in between. The ancient heart of yours still there & with it. The love interests never losing any. Multiples. I am here, on this couch constant, getting stirred from ahead, waiting till body to catch on.

She was innocent and I was unsuspecting

april

brevity

corolla

deal

erect

fugue

goods

honey

impudent

just

laconic 

melody

naked

oven

prostitute

ribbons

succinct

syrupy

universe

valuables

whorl

yellow

She was innocent and 

I was unsuspecting

She was innocent and unfriendly, detrimental through and through. An antagonistic, cold heart,  immoral. Indifference choked me undaunted. I listened to her inconvenient beauty, her odious tale winding me safe.

I was unsuspecting, hostile, contrary. And frosty, held iniquitous and fearless. She was the girl I'd seen, courageous, insulting, unfairly discriminating.

When we met she was ruinous; temperament most adverse... malefic and inanimate, more brave than history. Standing there, painfully watching, hand held abusively mine. Her unjust sunglasses caught her hair.

When we met, I remember myself as pernicious, one might say malevolence insensate. My sinking heart bold, the difficult breaths coming critical, free .

ant, the velvet words

It was just the words come in me, those to make seen the real simple of a night. The common scent of flowers on the night breeze of a week-end, the ones smelling like butter or honey. Different bee breeds hover from these flowers & in again at daytime. The crickets, common sound of august, or maybe in oregon frogsounds are commonest. I'd like a test to differentiate. a frog whisper in one ear and the rustle of cricket wing violined against cricket wing; stridulating forgets the hot of a night. Spiders in stridulation, the velvet ant...