what to do

I want to write a $10 poem

I want to smoke all of the cigarettes

I want to sit on this blanket

I got this blanket when I was born

and on it you can sometimes make out the names of old strange women

strange women I don't know,

who made patches for it,

and one embroidered balllooons

and one did bears

and one did a bible verse

and one, one did a map of idaho

and all that's left of that is a dot in navyblue thread where boise is

and a couple of scraggling rivers.

So I think that's sort of beautiful.

but I want to write a $10 poem, for nickey

because she said every time you spend five dollars, you should have to make a poem

and then she said, I don't even write poems

so I can't do this with you

start this project, where everytime we spend five dollars we have to write a poem, and we have to

she said, what about when we pay rent? and this is after I said, no

no

every time we spend ten dollars

we'll write a poem

so she said, everytime we pay rent we'll have to write twenty poems

*     *     *     *

so we thought about it for a few seconds

till she said, I don't write poetry.

(but she said it with a flurry of ellipses) 

Well neither do I but I can write

a $10 poem

I think

is what I said

I died

I almost died by ambulance this time, tonight it was speeding through with only lights and engine sound to warn, no music of sirens, not a thing. Seconds on time was I, to life everlasting. Disasters distracting as shapes from outwards of nowhere. Delicious departures from certain snowy landscapes (of a mind). Still fawning, breathless. Envisioning seaweedscapes, a mind full and collapsed, envelopes of dramatic dream memory sway, each little disaster eclipsing in on itself. It would have been an anniversary to end all anniversaries, inside but not to mention a full moon to end all moons full. I am so incipient, excited for my day of birth. I will see the 24th year. In all manner of ellipses. Breaths of doom lush ever ending nervesway.

˚ I D I E D ˚ I D I E D ˚ I D I E D ˚ I D I E D ˚ I D I E D ˚

---

I almost

Died by ambulance,

It was speeding

Engine sound

Day of birth

I,

Disasters

In on,

Envisioning seaweedscapes, a mind full and collapsed,

Delicious

It

Distracting ash shapes from outwards of nowhere.

Inside

Envelopes of

Departures from certain snowy.

I,

Dramatic...

I am so excited for my

Each

Dream memory sway,

Inside

Disaster

In all manner of

Eclipsing

Doom brush never

---

To, was with only from the landscapes (of a mind). Little lights and warn, no music of sirens, not a thing. Seconds on time was to life everlasting. Ellipses. Breaths of to mention a full moon

would have been an anniversary to end all anniversaries, not to end all moons full. The 24th year will see ending nervesway.

full moon, emptry heart

I can't find it but I know it's there. I saw a full lunar ellipses last night, a red tinted moon far far away, a tiny little moon way up high. I stopped running around, scullery maiding for a minute or two and went outside tshirted to view it. We all stood in silence and appreciation and respect.

Tonight I will reminisce gladly. Another month to celebrate. When I find that old bitch in the black sky.